


Korra: The Last Beerbender

by Todteufelritter



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Binge Drinking, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Drinking, F/F, Fluff, Underage Drinking, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26815264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todteufelritter/pseuds/Todteufelritter
Summary: This is a fluffy fic about Korra being a ridiculous bro of a woman and getting wasted and Asami being there for her. It takes place after book 1 but a bit before book 2. It includes a potentially dangerous case of binge drinking played mostly for laughs, and introduced the concept that Asami Sato carries cocktail making supplies with her everywhere.Also, if you want to make a Satocycle sidecar it is 3 parts Ceylon Arrack, 2 parts dry Curacao and 2 parts lemon juice. Stir or shake with ice, strain and serve in a cocktail glass or paper cup of dubious cleanliness. I haven't tried it myself because Ceylon Arrack is impossible to find. But it seems like booze they would have in the fire nation (it is fermented sap from coconut palm blooms, distilled). The proportions are based on the classic sidecar of the early 20th century, which is made with brandy.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Korra: The Last Beerbender

Asami looked around the crowded garden - the packed, muscled bodies, the cups and beer cans strewn on the ground, and she realized she had made a mistake. This party wasn’t Asami Sato’s scene. Korra had promised her a Zither-Blues band from Ba Sing Se - they hadn’t shown. In fact, there was no music. There was no food, either - the few boxes of steam buns had been devoured two hours ago and more. And the booze...Asami looked over sadly at the table of liquor. Cabbage Corp plum wine, generic sake and the kind of baiju that tasted the same going down as it did on the way back up. And the beer - Cranefisher and Platinum City Pilsner - was undrinkable swill, but oh so plentiful. There were at least 4 kegs tapped at this moment. If Asami had known her options would be so bad she would have driven herself and given her chauffeur the night off.

And the people...everyone here was a meathead pro-bending buddy of Korra’s, excitedly discussing bending techniques, pro bending inside gossip and the finer points of training routines. Asami had just walked away from an argument between two earth benders about whether pea or whey protein powder was better for building muscle mass. She looked over her shoulder at the man and woman, who were still arguing. At least they hadn’t started throwing rocks at each other yet. Asami sighed inwardly - pro bending was much more fun from a box seat or on the radio. Never meet your heroes.

Speaking of heroes, where was Korra? This was her 18th birthday party (well, one of several, Korra was nothing if not popular), and a thank you for saving the bending of half the pro bending league. The last time Asami had seen her she was winning some kind of drinking game that involved a Pai Sho board and shot glasses of baiju, though after that she’d heard Korra leading the Southern Water Benders in a raucous kayak-paddling chant. Bolin had disappeared with his date, probably to the back seat of a Satomobile - that girl could not have made her intentions more clear when they arrived. And Mako hadn’t even come - night shift with the police force trumped celebrating with his friends and girlfriend, apparently. Asami shrugged. She had promised herself a night off from reviewing the Socca Antitrust Act and balance sheets for the last 5 fiscal years. She was going to have this night, damnit. She looked for a bright side. While they were not the best conversationalists, the pro benders were certainly easy on the eyes - dozens of the most athletic, perfectly toned bodies in the world surrounded her on every side, many of them stripped to shirt sleeves or tank tops or wearing slinky dresses. No, Asami could be content just to watch, as long as she didn’t have to listen. Now to improve that beverage situation... She reached under her skirt and pulled one flask from one garter, and another from her other. She found a clean-ish paper cup and poured out a shot of VSOP Fire Nation Arrack and then another of Ember Island Curacao. Now she just needed to find a lemon…

“May I help you, Miss Sato?” Asami looked down to see a short-ish, thickset but pretty woman looking up at her. She was the earthbender of the Rabaroos, probably their best player on offense. And Asami realized the other woman had been leering at her when she reached into her garters. Asami chuckled to herself.   
  
“Could you find me a lemon?”   
  
“My pleasure, gorgeous.”   
  
Gorgeous? Well that was almost flattering.

“Oh there you are!” Asami heard a booming, effusive voice over her shoulder. “Asami! Isn’t this great? I’m so glad you can be here.” Before she could turn around, Asami was hugged from behind by Korra. She just barely managed to keep her drink steady and avoid spilling booze that was too good for this party.   
  
“Hey, good to see you too. Watch it though, I have a beverage.”   
  
“Oh sorry about that! And about going off and leaving you. I just keep getting invited over by everyone. I guess because it’s my birthday and I’m a big damn hero and everything.”

Asami nearly snickered. Korra was the only person who could pull off calling herself ‘a big damn hero.’ Asami shook her head. “I’m fine, it’s good to see you get a chance to celebrate. You’ve given so much to everyone. So uh...happy birthday. What have you been doing all evening?”   
  
“Winning drinking games.” Korra said, and flashed that crooked grin of hers.

“I’m not much for drinking games myself, but is winning the point?”   
  
“Isn’t it always?” Korra’s smile disappeared. She was in deadly earnest. “Listen, when I play drinking games, I play to win.”

Asami couldn’t contain herself any longer. She started giggling, then chuckling, then she was nearly cackling, until she had to bend over, reach out and grab Korra’s muscular shoulder to avoid falling over. But her drink remained unspilled. Choking back laughter, Asami wondered where that lemon was. She needed a drink herself.

“Uh, Asami? Are you okay? Did I say something funny?”   
  
“I’m fine. Korra. The point of drinking games is to get drunk. Not to win. Or maybe, getting drunk is how you win.”   
  
Realization slowly dawned on Korra’s face. Then her lip crinkled, and she broke out in a smile, and started laughing herself. “No wonder I’m just tipsy! Maybe I should stop playing games and just start drinking.”   
  


Asami was about to object that that was also not a great idea, but just then Asami’s lemon arrived, carried by a woman who was suddenly jealous of Asami’s hand on the Avatar’s shoulder.    
  
“Here’s your lemon, Miss Sato.” The earthbender turned and left.

“What was that about?”

Asami picked a switch blade out of her clutch, flicked it open and halved the lemon. She squeezed it into her cup. She looked up at Korra with mock distress. “I think I might be a heartbreaker, Korra.”   
  
“I’ll say. You look amazing tonight, by the way.”   
  
“Well, thank you. You look great yourself.”   
  
“Thanks, I’ve been working out. Even more than usual” Korra fixed her biceps a bit. Then she chuckled again and shook her head. “Do I really sound like that?”   
  
“Sometimes, yeah. Hey, do you mind water bending me a couple of ice cubes? I’m finishing up a Satocycle Sidecar.”   
  
“Sure. I uh...oh there’s a fountain.” Korra stole a few splashes of water from a fountain twenty feet away, then spun them around until they froze as two spheres of ice. “Here you go.”   
  
“Thanks.” Asami took out a comb from her hair, picked up another paper cup, shook her drink and strained it through the comb.    
  


She looked up at Korra and toasted her. “In a cocktail emergency, the modern woman must be resourceful. Happy birthday, by the way.”   
  
Korra rewarded her with that damn smile. Asami smiled back. Her drink was good, and Korra’s company was still a pleasure.

Then something struck Korra’s eye - another waterbender, bending beer directly from the keg, into her mouth. Korra rushed off, shouldering her way through the crowd or weaving like an airbender, whichever was quickest. At last she arrived at the kegs. “Me next” Korra yelled. Then Asami lost her in the crowd.    
  
A couple of swamp benders started up playing music at the other end of the garden - one on an accordion and the other on a banjo, it was odd music but not bad at all. If she listened to enough of it Asami might even be able to figure out how to dance to it. But she didn’t get her chance because Korra, once again, stole the show. There was a murmur, and then a hush over by the kegs - a palpable silence after the dull roar of raucous laughter and too-loud talking. Even the swamp-benders stopped playing. Aasmi looked over toward the kegs. Korra was standing on one, motioning for silence. The two tallest female benders there stood behind her. Korra motioned them forward and she flipped herself onto a handstand on the keg, with one woman steadying each leg with a light touch. This was itself a beautiful sight - Korra’s shoulders and arms flexing, her body poised in midair. Korra did a couple of upside-down push ups, just to show off. Then Korra nodded and some short kid flicked open the tap. Korra raised a hand and deflected the stream, out and up and around, a perfect golden spiral of cheap beer arcing into the sky, nearly glowing in the full moon. It was an exquisite act of bending - showing such control and power standing on one hand, without a proper stance, unable to move anything above her elbow. Korra brought the stream of beer up and then down, twisting around the upward-shooting stream into a double spiral, down and into her gullet.   
  
The crowd let out it’s breath. It began, as one great primordial beast, to chant. “Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!”   
  
And Avatar Korra, the biggest damn hero Republic City had known since its founding, heir to Aang and Kyoshi and Blessed Yangchen, Avatar Korra chugged. And chugged. She lost some finesse - her spiral grew looser, until at the end it was a few simple loops. But on she drank, to more and more raucous applause, until she flipped herself off the keg and redirected the steam into the crowd, spewing them with beer. She took a bow. “I am the beerbending master!” she bellowed.

The crowd lost it. Some of them chanted her name, some of them chanted Southern Water Tribe kayaking chants, some of them wolf-whistled and screamed ‘we love you!’ Asami, for her part, went back to her drink and did some quick calculations in her head. By her count Korra had been drinking beer continuously for 66 seconds. At 2 oz of beer per second of flow, that was 132 ounces of beer, or 11 beers, consumed in just over a minute. Sipping her own cocktail, Asami wondered if alcohol poisoning could trigger the Avatar state, and then wondered if any previous Avatar’s companions had had to deal with this. It would take a little while for the worst effects to set in. Asami had time. She listened to a few songs, tentatively danced out a few bars, working out the rhythm, then she finished her drink and went to find Korra.   
  


It took her a more than a few minutes. Korra was surrounded by pro benders who were clapping her on the back, fist-bumping her and shoving new cans of bear toward her face. When Asami found Korra she had a Platinum City Pilsner in one hand and a Cranefisher in the other. She drained one, and then Korra Attempted to crush the empty against her head.

“Ow! First thing I do if I learn metalbending is crush one of these damn cans. Oh hey Asami! Wasn’t that amazing?”   
  
“Never before has a greater feat of bending been used to a stupider purpose, Korra. You were incredible.”   
  
“Thanks...I think.” Korra’s words were already starting to slur, and she was getting lost in her thoughts, trying to figure out if what Asami had said was a compliment or not. She may have been tipsy 40 minutes ago, but by now Korra was well and truly drunk, and things were going to get worse before they got better. Well, that is the duty of the Avatar’s companions, Tenzin had said. To protect the Avatar. Asami pictured Tenzin seeing Korra now and nearly lost it. Would he make that slight frown of disapproval, or would he sigh? Yelling at Korra was not going to do any good at this point. The damage was done, mostly. Asami took Korra's remaining beer out of her hand and poured it into the grass.

“Hey I was drinking those!”

Asami put on her cheeriest face. “Ah, I think you’re done for the night. Anyway it’s after 2 AM.”   
  
“Is it? Shit. What am I doing tomorrow anyway?”   
  
“I’m sure you have ‘Avatar things’ penciled into your calendar, Korra, but I really don’t know. Let’s get you home.”   
  
“I can just whistle for Naga.” Korra whistled. Naga was, of course, back on Air Temple island, probably asleep and dreaming of living in a place where all the table scraps weren’t vegetarian. Korra was getting further gone by the minute. Asami wondered where she could buy activated charcoal at this hour, then remembered that she could just go to one of her father’s labs. 

“Hrm. No Naga."   
  
Asami laughed weakly and led Korra away toward the path between the garden and the street. At least that would be private and the Avatar couldn’t embarrass herself in front of anyone who talked to gossip columnists. Korra was beginning to weave, which made walking with her hard - Korra was much heavier than Asami with all that muscle, and every stumble and stagger nearly knocked Asami off her feet. “Hey I don’t feel so good ‘sami.”

Korra doubled over and began to retch. At first, Asami didn’t move to help her out of principle. As a young woman of good breeding, Miss Sato knew that it was the duty of a young lady’s date to hold her hair while she vomited, and whatever Asami was, she wasn’t Korra’s date. It wasn't Asami's fault that Mako had left his girlfriend in the lurch. But when Asami saw Korra’s ponytails swinging dangerously in front of her face she leaped to the rescue and held them aside.

It took a while. Korra had drunk a lot of beer. But at length Korra’s own body, purged itself of the poison, without going into the Avatar state. The Avatar would be safe, Asami thought. It was a good thing she hadn’t drunk more of that baiju. Asami found a tap and even drink Korra was able to bend water to her lips and clean herself up.

“Hey let’s get you home, Korra.”

Korra nodded. She meekly accepted Asami's assistance in walking. They headed out toward the street.

"Hey, you’re a really beautiful woman and a really...great... friend, Asami. I really like you.”

Asami smiled in spite of herself. That sweetness was one reason she really liked Korra too.


End file.
